The more I look at anxiety disorders the more I realize this devil has plagued my life before this past year.
I remember as a child being left with a babysitter fretting about what might happen to my parents while they were out and about. I worried myself to sleep about real life monsters; break-ins, murderers, car accidents, and house fires.
Some of the things people with general anxiety disorder do are: worry about things incessantly (especially those they have no control over), pick at the the skin around or bite their nails, pick the top layer of skin off their lips, rock themselves, or curl up into a ball to make themselves as small as possible. I've also noticed that I tend to rub my lips together until they become chapped when I'm extra anxious. These things we do don't make us weird, they are tics we cannot help displaying as our anxiety becomes unleashed.
A lot of people with anxiety disorders turn to self-medication: drugs and alcohol. I wouldn't recommend it as a cure unless you're all right with further damaging your already fragile body and psyche, possibly becoming an addict, and potentially disrupting the lives of those you care about most as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the occasional drink is bad, just that it isn't a treatment or a cure. The anxiety can't be willed away by the numbness of substance abuse.
When I exhibit these signs (as I realized I was rubbing my lips together constantly today making them more and more chapped) I know something, even if I don't know what (I often don't), is causing my anxiety to flare up. I know I need to take time to calm myself, focus on letting go and relaxing, and ultimately have my medication on hand should it become needed.
It seems I learn something new about this problem of mine every day. The more educated I am about it the easier it becomes to deal with. I hope others can relate. :)
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Saturday, January 3, 2015
That Feeling...
I've done some research on my anxiety once I got out of that denial "Who me?" phase of things.
One of the best descriptions I've read of That Feeling is that it's like there is constantly a pack of hungry wolves at your back breathing down your neck ready to pounce.
For me it's a little different than that but just as scary.
All of a sudden there is a heavy weight, a pressure in my chest... it feels like a giant hand has thrust through my body and begun to squeeze my heart. That feeling ignites breathing issues, short panicked breathes caused by the very physically real feeling of pain that has manifested. The pressure doesn't relent and because I have anxiety it gets worse and worse. If you don't know what's happening to you it's easy to convince yourself you're dying or having a heart attack at the very least.
They say that this kind of anxiety affects more women than men and that many people go with it undiagnosed. Probably because we, women THINK TOO MUCH. We are the worriers, the nurturers, the ones that put the ones we feel are "ours" first, and Thinking and Worrying are the primary instigators of this panic.
Getting diagnosed is essential because this anxiety is Manageable with medication although it still isn't a cakewalk. A year of one kind of daily medication raised in potency a couple of times and I still get That Feeling... that tightness in my chest that gets worse the More I Think. I've had ups and downs, I have great days, great weeks, great months... and then I have months like this past month where the anxiety feels almost as bad as it did in the beginning. But I manage it day to day, week to week, and month to month... which makes the whole process way easier.
As long as I know this thing, my Nemesis, can be battled, and can happen and Does happen to more people than realize it I can deal with That Feeling... I can put a damper on the flames of panic that build up within me ready to snap. I can rationalize that I have this issue I have to deal with and I can keep it from wreaking havoc on my life. Anyone can with the right help.
One of the best descriptions I've read of That Feeling is that it's like there is constantly a pack of hungry wolves at your back breathing down your neck ready to pounce.
For me it's a little different than that but just as scary.
All of a sudden there is a heavy weight, a pressure in my chest... it feels like a giant hand has thrust through my body and begun to squeeze my heart. That feeling ignites breathing issues, short panicked breathes caused by the very physically real feeling of pain that has manifested. The pressure doesn't relent and because I have anxiety it gets worse and worse. If you don't know what's happening to you it's easy to convince yourself you're dying or having a heart attack at the very least.
They say that this kind of anxiety affects more women than men and that many people go with it undiagnosed. Probably because we, women THINK TOO MUCH. We are the worriers, the nurturers, the ones that put the ones we feel are "ours" first, and Thinking and Worrying are the primary instigators of this panic.
Getting diagnosed is essential because this anxiety is Manageable with medication although it still isn't a cakewalk. A year of one kind of daily medication raised in potency a couple of times and I still get That Feeling... that tightness in my chest that gets worse the More I Think. I've had ups and downs, I have great days, great weeks, great months... and then I have months like this past month where the anxiety feels almost as bad as it did in the beginning. But I manage it day to day, week to week, and month to month... which makes the whole process way easier.
As long as I know this thing, my Nemesis, can be battled, and can happen and Does happen to more people than realize it I can deal with That Feeling... I can put a damper on the flames of panic that build up within me ready to snap. I can rationalize that I have this issue I have to deal with and I can keep it from wreaking havoc on my life. Anyone can with the right help.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)